Friday, May 1, 2015

"Erotic Quiz" Part: 1

I'll get to the bottom of what I'm implying by "erotic" when I am through with this (what will be) 3 part survey.  It was something I was suddenly inspired to write (the questions that is) a few mornings ago and then to send out to a few of my closest companions.

The idea was I would ask these series of questions with no follow-through or commentary after the fact.  I had a lot of goals I wished to achieve with my friends but what has inspired me to take this "quiz" myself was because of what they bore to me.  I figured it only fair.

I was honored and humbled that these individuals were willing to trust me enough to expose their true feelings on these subjects and for that, I wish to inspire more honesty and trust like this in others. So, without further ado, I thank you already for taking the time to read this.  I hope it leaves you with something.

1. When you struggle to obtain something that you want, how does that make you feel?
This is probably one of the most frustrating aspects to my life.  Material gains I'm rather accustomed to not having but when it comes to life not working out the way I want it to, plans astray, goals not obtained... I can become rather defeated at times.  Needless to say I never quit, so intense frustration results.  To quote my husband, "When Christine stops getting angry, that's when I'll be worried about her."

2. When you don't get to do something of your choosing for a long time, how do you typically respond?
Oh, boy... down right rebellious.  I can push a lot of buttons and throw up quite an array of obsessive, reclusive, depressed, and angry emotions and behaviors.  I go in and out of different levels of patience tolerance depending on the current stress level of my life.

3. Would you consider yourself to be a decisive individual?
As far as the mundane and the day to day goes, I am the MOST indecisive person I know.  It even irritates me.  I can't even decide what to eat most times.  I never know if I do or don't want to go somewhere, I don't know if I want to sleep or manically stay up for three nights in a row and make something absurd... However, when I have a precise goal in mind... I am so decisive, that if anyone could really see it's depths to my supporting reasoning to my opinions and decisions they would feel very small.  I can say this with such confidence that I welcome anyone with a low enough inferiority complex that they would pick such a tactless argument, to go right on ahead an challenge it... but wouldn't you rather just go do something else?

4. Would you consider yourself to be an individual?
I consider myself The Individual's Individual.

5. "I often feel I get what I want."
In the long run, yes.  Oh, very much so.

6. "I often feel I express myself well."
Relatively speaking, I find I express myself better and in more forms to a proficient degree than anyone I know... however, I strive and push myself so hard (and it's never good enough...) because no, I really don't feel I ever express myself well... at least well enough.  I tend to create a lot of beauty in the attempts though.

7. Do you find yourself embracing others of similar interests or do you tend to find yourself around others in very different lifestyles of your own?
I use to think that I embraced others of all varieties because that's the thing you're suppose to do for some reason... but even though I think there is always something to be gained from our differences... psh, I'm totally a bird.  Birds of a feather... Your average individual cannot digest my company and frankly, I'd rather spend my time more productively.

8. Are you adventurous?
Yes and No.  My heart yearns for great adventure, but what I consider to be an adventure may be a dramatic bore to others.  I tend to go a lot of places, meet a great variety of people, experience many dangerous and incredible natural wonders that most would never (and shouldn't) even go near.  I love roller coasters and loud concerts. (I enjoy complex social drama...) I love to swim in the ocean... but... adventure to me is only worthwhile with others or without others getting in my way.  Unfortunately, that is extremely difficult to come by these days... so I guess that's where the "No" part comes in.  Not really fair.

9. Do you enjoy travel?  How often?  What sort of travel?  Why do you travel?
I adore travel.  Sometimes I feel like I would never stop moving if given the opportunity (although then I would miss home too much... I do like "Home.")  I don't get to travel nearly as often as I would like in the last few years and I couldn't even give an "ideal" of what seems reasonable.   Some years are chaotic and meant to be spent home, frustrated, thinking, and developing, while others are about decompressing and expanding our universes...which is why I travel.  What sort?  I love anything that takes me as far away from any human as possible in most cases, but... man, I tell you... a good trip to a good city, with good art, entertainment, culture, and especially HISTORY.  I need that too.

10. "I am happy with who I am."
At the end of the day, I couldn't be happier to be any other son-of-a-bitch alive or dead... but sometimes I really hate myself.  I mean, sometimes I really hate myself to the point of just not wanting to exist.  I get so bent up what I view stress and depression does to me, that sometimes I just don't feel like I know who I am and that's when I am VERY unhappy with myself.  As long as I hold on to what I know is true about me, nothing can bring me down and I even tend to make more practical, and calmed decisions in every aspect of my life.

End of Part 1

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