Monday, March 28, 2011

My name is...

More than half the people in my life do not know my real name.

What's so amusing about having a convention at your own university is seeing so many people that you see on a regular basis yet have no idea who you are. The most amusing part is when you run into someone that you have a class with, that you enjoy conversation with, who you had no idea talked to you and has followed you on Deviant Art for a few years now. Obviously, this actually happened.

Kaiser is hilarious. Kaiser is "epic." Kaiser is somewhat of a legend now if I can say that. Kaiser has been begged to go out to a convention on a whim that's 4.5 hours away by about 10 or so individuals just because "Kaiser REALLY needs to be there." It blows my mind.

I've been thinking about how sad that kind of is. Christine is infinitely more interesting and seeing how "Kaiser" is a mere element to such, one would assume rightly so. But, when I'm at conventions I have a hoard of people who follow me now (I mean really, it's way more than it has ever been), people hang on my every word, laugh at just nearly everything I do (and you bet I get as high as hell from it... it's me after all), and beg for me just to get up on stage to interrupt whoever is up there simply because they find me more interesting... I don't of course, the Kaiser may be crude, but in the midst of that crudeness there is an inherent amount of class. Apparently, that's possible.

Christine... well, she's talked over even when she's talking about something incredibly important and relevant to others. She's heavily and constantly criticized, and rarely complimented. She can barely get a rise or a smile out of her peers. And when she bares her heart to the world, people are turned off by it. It's hard. It's hard to keep doing it. But that's what she does, she has to.

I'm mostly referring to my existence in "art world." Art world is bloody, competitive, and honestly down right pretentious. Rightly so. We all feel we have something unique and valuable to say, but the world rarely listens to all of us, let alone a few of us. It's only natural to isolate and ostracize the one who stands out the most, the one most likely to be heard... whether they agree with what they think I'm trying to say or not. What I have to say may be "bizarre," "Odd for the sake of being so," or whatever else you want to attach to it that may be of the negative persuasion, but to the rest of the world what does that even matter? They don't know the difference... and quite frankly most of my peers don't either. I could outrightly tell them what I'm trying to say (as I have attempted) but taking my word for it must be a hard pill to swallow. We'd much rather cling to our simplistic comforts of our own opinions. It's okay. We're young... and by "we're" I will altruistically admit to excluding myself as a form of condescension. It's easy to be that way behind a computer monitor on a little virtual niche of the internet where more than likely none of my art "peers" will ever find themselves. If you so happen to find yourselves here, you're more than likely an exception. One, you hate me enough to obsess over me enough to find this and look this up, which means at least you have some sort of fascination whether you care to admit it or not... either way, I win.... OR you already think I'm alright, which means you're off to a head-start in my book you cool cat, you. That's all I really require honestly.

It kind of leads me to thinking, "I wish they would just give me a chance." If all of these people who don't even know my real name think so highly of me, or at the very least enjoy my company, then why can't my art peers? That's obviously incredibly loaded and mult-faceted, but more importantly it makes me think about giving other people I encounter that chance. They secretly could have a Kaiser too and wouldn't that be interesting?

Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware of the fact that as the Kaiser there's a nice veil of yummy frosting... there's something far more approachable to a real-life fictitious caricature of a person than just a regular everyday one, especially in a setting filled with them... yeah I get that... but "Kaiser" as many of my fans have put it, has transcended into something beyond the costume. I'm Kaiser even when I'm not wearing the unflattering blue jumpsuit and ridiculous wig... and to be honest, I really like that. It's a name with meaning. It says, "This person is cool, beyond the craftsmanship of their costume. They possess traits that worthy of the name itself and what it implies." They've stood witness to my creative expression with an open mind and better still, liked it. We obviously share common interests and enthusiasm in expressing a passion for said common interests and in the light of that, people who know me as "Kaiser" and not by my real name actually know me probably a little better than more than half the people who know me by Christine.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Animarathon charms and sculptures

Here is a poor photograph of a great sample of one of the charms that will be sold in the Artist Alley at Animarathon this weekend! All of the "Eeveelutions" will also be there! Don't miss it!

Monday, March 21, 2011

More to come later...

Amuse yourselves with this until then:

Friday, March 18, 2011

BFA Show

The Bachelor's of Fine Arts Show.
It's finally here.

Tomorrow at 7pm.

I have a few loose strings to tie up, but it's finished. I feel so incredibly liberated and my sense of accomplishment is overwhelming.

The last week I was lucky if I got 3 hours of sleep a night. I feel like I'm living in a dream, to be honest.

Hard work? It's been completely redefined.

I just want to yell out Fuck you! But that wouldn't be very classy now would it? But I hope the sentiment is understood... why I would say such a thing.

Six months of the craziest amount of stress I could have never imagined (especially the last 2 months, and even more so in the last 2 weeks.) All of this for one night and two weeks of glory. Was it worth it? Fuck yes.

I'm really at a loss of anything else to say. Yesterday it hit me, I was elated, excitable, fun-loving, and today I'm angsty and a little p.o.'d with a lot of people in my life now that the stress and high are no longer distracting me.

Peace out assholes.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


So, I love to dance... a lot.  And until just recently I only discovered how much it really means to me.  This clip has all kinds of variety, but I'm interested in what you think.  And this isn't really me at my best, but it's weird to actually see it from the outside perspective for the first time.