Honesty is harder to come by.
"Arrogant" is a term that is slung around so loosely these days. I say "these days" more out of cliche and digestible reading more than anything else. In the grand scheme of things, one can only speculate.
But that is significant isn't it? "The Grand Scheme of Things." It seems to hold a lot more weight when I place it in quotes and capitalize it.
So, what sort of capitalization do you make in your life? Markers of identity, if you will. How do you feel when I say, "I am an artist." VS "I am an Artist." ? I personally feel that the capitalization is incredibly unnecessary, yet so many seem to insist that I resort to it... given their own personal labels. There is a distinction. Labels are unavoidable. I won't waste my time talking about it.
Would it be arrogant of me to make that claim? No. Why? Who would deny it? I've expressed an explicit interest and an undeniable ability. This trait is commonly accepted and acknowledged by many. Although the term encompasses so much more, I meet the minimum requirements. This isn't really the point of my blog, but please, as a public service announcement: CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY. It becomes incredibly offensive to those who have dedicated their person(s) to the idea. This goes for many other ideas and identities as well.
At any rate, I'm not really interested in getting caught up in this. It's just something that aggravates me on nearly a daily basis... that among so much more.
But honesty... honesty is what I'm truly interested in discussing, or rather putting out there for people to think about. How honest are you with yourself? And more importantly... "How do you know?"
"Because I know." Is not acceptable this time. (It hardly ever is.)
There is a method in gauging one's personal honesty. I don't mean what you tell others, but what you're really thinking when you're bragging about yourself. Do you really believe it? If you do, then why feel the need to express it? It should be obvious. I mean, if it's worth bragging about right? Perhaps not always. Maybe you're with a close friend... all of us like to talk about ourselves occasionally (I should know) without it being... well, arrogant.
*sighs* This is so difficult to express fully and properly...
At any rate, we all should know that we exist on 3 planes:
1. Our inner plane, how we feel and perceive ourselves.
2. Our middle plane, how people close to us "know" us.
3. Our outer plane, viewing from a distance. What would someone say browsing around on your facebook or seeing your appearance or perhaps just knowing what you do for a living.
Coincidentally, the second 2 have sooooo much to do with the first. Is it worth everything? No. But it certainly is worth a lot more than people give it credit for.
You have your inner thoughts, your inner feelings. You tell yourself "other people just really don't understand me for who I really am." Or "There is so much more to me than I let on." But I beg you this question: Are you certain??
I mean, why haven't they seen these things? Action and thought are two entirely different things and in the end, it's action that means so much more. Will the people in your life (especially those close to you) attest to these traits? Their opinion on who you are means a lot more than people would probably prefer. I say this because that would mean we would have to accept that we're not as awesome as we think we are, and that our lives are bleak, and overall, we're just not that special... for the most part. So, how do people become great? That's the beauty of it. The accept themselves for who they are and realize, it's not who they always have to be until that becomes a part of themselves.
Most of us measure our own personal self worth based on perceived potential, which is just a load of crap. If I can do anything, then why haven't I? Why am I not better? Potential has everything to do with what you would realistically do (which involves so many factors to list) and not with what you THINK you can do.
I just want others to consider the person next to them. You think you're special. You think or "know" (if I must really say it that way) you think differently. You will make a difference. And you know what, I believe you when you say those things... you know why... because I feel that way about myself. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because there are so many things that I don't say, that I can't express. But I find so often that when people think this way about themselves, they have an excessively difficult time accepting it about others.
Some of the most brilliant people I know, are piss-poor at expressing themselves. They think/feel on a level that's difficult to perceive, and even more difficult to comprehend.
Oh, there is so much more that I want to say. So much I want to say on a regular basis.
What I struggle with the most is not giving into the temptation of shattering the illusions that people paint for themselves. Ironic really. I paint/create fantasy... yet I posses the ability to shatter another's. How do I know this... it's not like I haven't done it... many times before. What results, is incredible. I have plenty to attest to it. People whom I've created a bond with that will tell you exactly why, Christine Karamol is not arrogant, she is honest.
However, there must be a level of trust and patience that one must be able to accept and the person needs to be open to change. If not, then I will never tell you what I'm thinking. Not even a little bit. I will smile. I will add to your statements making it seem like I have a basic understanding (but not as deep as yours) of what it is you're speaking of. But what I possess is too potent. Dangerous. I love too much to unleash it when the timing is not right. Besides, if I did, that contradicts the point somewhat hm? It's not my place most of the time anyway. There are bigger giants to contend with who usually do a much better job.
Ask yourself, living in a glass jar your whole life, how do you know the glass isn't tinted?
No comments:
Post a Comment